fantasy pros and cons

Mentor: What about the present?

 

Man: The present? Well, obviously my present-day sex life is non-existent. Now, of course, I have the excuse of being middle-aged or beyond, and being borderline obese. In earlier times I blamed shyness and poverty. Of course, keeping sex in the head, and being fascinated with one's mind, can take its toll on the body. Neglect, disinterest. Your expectation of having something real happening, something that gives you more satisfaction than your fantasies, is so low that you can easily just let yourself go. Take that outré tub of lard, the Divine Marquis. 

 

Mentor: Yet Sade engaged in plenty of real, violent sex, in spite of his obesity, did he not?

Man: Nowhere near as much as he wrote about. And his writings were doubtless only a fraction of his fantasies. Nevertheless he did impose himself on others sexually, you're right about that. He argued that he had the right to use anybody as an object of his sexual pleasure, and that this was somehow natural, which of course is bullshit. You don't see too many animals fucking other animals to death, or whipping them to within an inch of their lives while masturbating feverishly, that's confined to humans, and very few of them. I've never had the gall to behave that way - not being one of the landed gentry.

 

Mentor: So you're content to continue with sex in the head?

 

Man: Certainly not. I'm very unhappy about it, but I see no obvious solution. 

 

Mentor: There are obvious solutions though, aren't there?

 

Man: You mean, going out and meeting women? Singles bars and that sort of thing? Are there really such things as singles bars by the way? If there are I'd be tempted to go to them, or I would've been before I got old and fat. 

 

Mentor: You’re not so old and fat, and there are many other ways to meet women. Special interest groups…

 

Man: Weight-watchers? Actually, I wonder if they have any sex addict meet-ups around town? No, I’m serious.

 

Mentor: Do you consider yourself a sex addict?

 

Man: Is it possible to be a celibate sex addict?

 

Mentor: Addicted to masturbation, yes, of course. 

Man: Well, I don't think I'm addicted to masturbation, frankly, I can do without it if I have to.

 

Of course, I never have to, so I don't. Do without, I mean.

 

Mentor: May I ask what you think about when you masturbate? 

 

Man: Better to ask who I think about. 

 

Mentor: Are you fixated on a particular person?

 

Man: At the moment, yes. It's not always that way, but it often is.

 

Mentor: Well I won't ask you about her. 

 

Man: Why not?

 

Mentor: It's more or less a given that a man becomes obsessed with a woman because he can't have her. So feeding the obsession isn't helpful. Let's talk about the kind of woman that attracts you in general.

 

Man: Very clever. But I will talk about her, I'll get there somehow. As to generalities, yes, let me take you back again, to my teen years, when I first thought about and fantasised about this....